The Dream

Wow. Have you ever woken up from a dream and thought, "THAT was a doozy!"? (Okay, I know 'doozy' may not be the exact word you would use, but you know what I mean). Well, last night I had a doozy of a dream. To preface, I dream often and vividly. It isn't unusual for me to remember more than one dream when I wake up in the morning. I'm also a lucid dreamer, which means that while I am dreaming I am often directing the action in my dream (turn this way, walk that way, etc.) Like most people my dreams are often influenced by personal things happening in my life as well as things I've seen through the course of my day. While sometimes disturbing, I've always found dreams fascinating.

So...

Last night right before I went to bed I watched Top Chef Just Desserts. Cake maker Sylvia Weinstock was on the show, which is the only explanation for why she was in my dream. (...as if there could be another connection...) Right before I woke up I had the following dream:

I was in a hotel and Sylvia and her husband were there as well. I can't recall what my occupation was, but it was very clear in the dream that it was my job to get Sylvia and her husband to a museum filled with historical Irish (?) artifacts (6 pm) before getting them to a black tie affair at 7 pm. This was the last evening that they could attend these events so it was vital that I get them there. They were dressed in their finest and ready to go even though I was still dressed in my frumpy sweats. I told them that we were going to be traveling in my Jeep, but was stressing as I said it because I couldn't imagine these two in their fine clothes bumping along in my Jeep (I decided in my head that her husband could take the backseat since it would be the bumpiest ride). I also realized that the inside of my Jeep was filthy and I needed to get it cleaned out so they could climb in. I left them to clean out my Jeep, which I inexplainably did at the museum event dressed in my sweats. I was throwing bags into a garbage can when I suddenly realized that I threw out a bag of mail. As I was hurriedly sorting through the garbage I became increasingly stressed because I was getting later and later in picking up my guests. In the garbage I found important bills for my husband as well as a fun, stickered envelope from my cousin. I looked to the right at this time and saw a big huge parked semi mail truck that was already supposed to be at my former Bible study teacher's house. People were hounding me and asking me why it wasn't already there and I nervously began to fret myself until I finally let it go because I had the Weinstock problem yet to handle. During the dream people were milling around the breezeway of the event including one man who had a puppy on his shoulders (are you worried about me yet?). There were all kinds of other details in this dream, but ... moving on...

So, it is getting later and later. I am still in my sweats, the Jeep is now cleaned out, and I am heading back to the hotel to pick up the Weinstock's. I am an hour late getting to them, and feeling terrible because they have now missed the first event because of me. (I haven't yet figured out why they were going to an Irish museum since the Weinstock's are clearly Jewish). Here's the clincher of the dream...

Ready?

As I'm driving back to the hotel - stressed out - I go through a very, very poor neighborhood. The first thing I see is an entire family working together outside their house to sort papers to get ready for the next morning's delivery (I think this is in direct relation to watching 'Downsized' before I went to bed which is about a large family struggling and working together to get out of debt). The next thing I see is a grandmother walking next to her grandson who was pedaling a trike. Finally, I turn a corner and see a family sitting on lawn chairs outside their home. The mom is playing beautiful music on the piccolo while her family relaxes, reads the newspaper, etc. The music was wafting through the neighborhood and I felt a sense of peace, calm and serenity as I drove through this part of town.

I woke up with a very clear understanding as to what this dream meant for me. It could be the right interpretation or it could be the wrong interpretation, but it was my immediate thought so I'll go with it:

I am trying so hard in my life to live up to my responsibilities and the expectations I have for myself and that others have of me. Invariably I feel like I am failing to meet their needs and to hit the mark that I've set for myself. In my dream, the juxtaposition between the black tie crowd and the poverty stricken neighborhood was startling. But those in the neighborhood, who had very little - but had each other, were happy and content on the inside with their simpler way of life.

Sometimes dreams do have messages. Although I am quite private and know that people I don't know read this, I am posting it to remember the message and perhaps pass the message on to someone else who might find it meaningful.

...and for a laugh...here's another recent dream:

My sister and I were shopping through racks and racks of sale clothes. I had a few things and was done, but she kept frantically searching for more and more items. She felt my impatience as I urged her to go. She finally said, quite emphatically, "Michele, we HAVE TO get clothes because of OBAMACARE!"

I don't know what the meaning of that dream was, but it still makes me laugh!

Sweet dreams.

Is It Just Me?

I had the strangest thing happen today. Sometimes I have to wonder if I am the only one experiencing these kinds of things or if it is just that I am the only one that thinks it is bizarre? So, I was on my way to With Child to open the doors for a birth couple who wanted to come in and watch movies on their impending birth. I thought I'd drive through Taco Bell and pick up some food for them to eat. That doesn't sound complicated, does it? I get to the drive thru window and the employee, decked out in fancy Taco Bell attire, cheerfully hands me my open 'box' of food.

I said, "Oh, thank you. Can I get a taco sauces and a bag, too, please?"

(Grabbing the sauce and bag) She said, "You were supposed to ask for this when you ordered."

I said, "How would I know that I needed to ask you for a bag when I ordered?"

She said, "We've been putting food in boxes for 3 months now. If you want a bag you need to ask for it when you place your order."

I said, "I don't really eat here. I wouldn't have any way of knowing that."

She said, "Well, we've been doing it this way for a few months now AND (frustrated) you need to ask for your taco sauces when you place your order, too."

At this point I gave up as she clearly didn't understand that I don't visit Taco Bell much and therefore would have no way of knowing that my food wouldn't come with a bag. I realized when I arrived at With Child that she also generously graced me with two (count them - two) small napkins.

THEN...

I arrive at With Child and give the food to my clients along with Strawberry Lemonades from Sonic. Now let me just say, Sonic is not a fast food restaurant I am unfamiliar with. I don't really like their food, but my dear friend Annie blessed me with a Strawberry Lemonade this summer and I've been drinking them ever since. I was so excited to share this refreshing drink with my birth couple. I put them in a room, started the movie, and sat at my desk to take my first sip of my drink.

siiiiiiiipppppppp.....ahhh, uh, wait just one minute!
siiiiiiiipppppppp....what the heck...?

My Strawberry Lemonade tasted like water mixed with strawberry. There was no lemon to this drink. I asked them if theirs tasted like water and they said, 'yeah'.

Boxed food? No bag? No sauce? Two napkins? Water for lemonade? Times are tough, people.

Sooooooo...I called Sonic and said what I'm sure you all know I said in the way you all know I said it. Yeah, I did. I guess I didn't like it when the manager said, "Well, our lemonade ran out." Because I thought she meant, "Well, our lemonade ran out so we replaced it with water. Enjoy!" Which is not what she meant at all.

The short version of what could be a long story is that the manager of Sonic offered to bring me three new lemonades so I was able to bless these kids after all. I thought it was a very kind gesture on her part.

(She didn't look like the kind of person who would spit in my drink for all of you who are thinking that.)

Two things I learned today:
Taco Bell - ask for bag and sauce - WHEN ORDERING MICHELE, WHEN ORDERING!
Sonic - sip drink before you drive away

See - you can teach an old dog new tricks!

Yes, I'm a Cat Lady Now

It all started innocently enough. The kids and I went to the pound, picked out a kitten and named her Sneakers. She was precious, and we loved her dearly, until she went missing when we were on vacation in 2003. Such Sadness.

I, in my brilliance, somehow decided that the reason she went missing was because she was alone in the world. I figured if she had a companion, a fellow furry friend, they could have conquered the mean world together - bravely protecting one another from harms way. So, after a period of grieving, the kids and I went to the pound and picked out two kittens whom we named Boo-Boo and Tinker Belle. So then we had two. I was happy with two. Two was doable.

(Boo-Boo 2010. Yes, I know this picture is sideways. Please tilt your head to the right...a little more...there you go)

(Tinker Belle 2010)


Then I heard from a friend who told me that her friend found three helpless kittens. She said that if they didn't find homes the kittens would go to the pound and that the pound had already told them any kittens brought in would be killed. (I digress, but how can ANYONE have that job? Really. I can't even imagine.) I talked to my husband (did I mention he is allergic to cats?) and he said, rather generously, "What's one more?" ...and then we had three. Twinkie, so named because she looked like the sugary treat - and was just as sweet, joined our family - hitting the motherload.

(Twinkie 2010)

Three was still doable, but was certainly, most definitely, enough. I could tell people, "We have three cats and two dogs" and not feel certifiably crazy (especially living on an acre of land.)

Until something furry showed up smack dab in the middle of Mariah's bed.

(Ringo 2010)

I will be honest with you. I didn't want this full grown cat, whom we named Ringo, who decided that Mariah's bed would also be his. He meowed loudly and often, was not 'fixed' and wasn't even a kitten! The nerve. When I started softening, and told my husband he didn't have a home, he said, "Yes, he does. It's called the pound." :( I just couldn't do it. But I couldn't embrace him either. Yes, I fed Ringo when I fed the others, but I was not happy about the situation. After a year of denial - still believing that maybe he would 'go home' - I had him fixed and called him ours. He has grown to be quieter and is actually quite affectionate and lovable. So that was it. Four cats and two dogs. Finito. We actually had six animals for quite a long time. Yes, it was a lot, but it was also a lot of love.

Then in May of this year Mariah found the cutest kitten you have ever seen in our front yard. I was convinced it was put there by someone who saw the plaque my sister sent me that says, "All God's Creatures Welcome Here". (Hey, kitten dropper, I don't really mean it!) Anyway, guess what? I somehow found the strength inside myself to say 'no' to this kitten, whom we named Chester. One of Mariah's friends adopted him. Despite the fact that we cried and cried, I knew that it was the best thing. I grieved over the loss, but Chester is happy in his new home. I was quite proud of myself for saying no. I felt like I bravely staved off the dreaded "Cat Lady" label. I knew, just knew, that four cats didn't make me a Cat Lady, but that five would...and I felt good.

(Chester 2010)

Then -

In May our son left for Army Basic Training

In July our dog Persy, nearly 13 years old, passed away

In August our daughter left for college -

...and a week before she left she walked into the house with two black and white kittens that she found in our backyard.

I'm not sure why my reaction was so different with these two. All I know is that I immediately thought, "I have two more cats". I imagine it has something to do with the multiple losses I was experiencing and the fact that I wasn't willing to 'go there' emotionally. I know I am a Cat Lady now. I don't necessarily like the label, but have decided to embrace it. After all, each of these sweet precious animals was a choice made. A choice to welcome them in, and love them, until the end.

Jeeves and Fifi have made me smile when I feel like crying. They lie next to me when I am otherwise alone. They love me and I love them. I am glad I listened to my heart and said yes.

(Fifi and Jeeves 2010)


(Griffy 2010 - who loves them all)

Remembering Persy

August 1997 - July 2010

We adopted Persy from my dad after my mom died. Persy traveled in a UHaul from Arkansas to Arizona with my brother, Doug, and became a part of our family. He loved our kids more than you can imagine, and everyone who met Persy loved him as well. He was gentle, protective, patient, friendly and faithful till the end. I begged God to let him die at home, which he did on July 5th. There is a huge loss in our lives now that he is gone, but we are thankful for the many years we had him.

I won't always have seven pets. Sadly, each of these will pass on as well. The only thing I know for sure is that for the rest of my life I will always have at least one (okay, you're right...one or two).

Fifteen Things I Know Today...

- The One who created me loves me and leads me in a personal way.

- Love isn't enough - you need commitment.

- My children are my greatest blessing.

- People wear masks.

- Family divisions can usually be repaired, and should be before

it's too late.

- Relationships are built from time invested.

- Life would be bleak without animals.

- Abortion is wrong. Always.

- Blood and water can be equally thick.

- People do what they want to do. Words are easy - action is harder.

- Grace and forgiveness are necessary in life.

- Laughter is essential.

I also know...

Joran Van Der Sloot did it (in this case 'presumption of innocence' can take a hike) and that the chicken came before the egg (Genesis 1:25)

Psalm 104

God - who put order in the sky, sea and land - who gives the animals what they need - lovingly cares for you, too. Look around you and believe...this is your creator:

"Praise the Lord, O my soul. O Lord my God, you are very great; you are clothed with splendor and majesty. He wraps himself in light as with a garment; he stretches out the heavens like a tent and lays the beams of his upper chambers on their waters. He makes the clouds his chariot and rides on the wings of the wind. He makes winds his messengers, flames of fire his servants. He set the earth on its foundations; it can never be moved. You covered it with the deep as with a garment; the waters stood above the mountains. But at your rebuke the waters fled, at the sound of your thunder they took to flight; they flowed over the mountains, they went down into the valleys, to the place you assigned for them. You set a boundary they cannot cross; never again will they cover the earth. He makes springs pour water into the ravines; it flows between the mountains. They give water to all the beasts of the field; the wild donkeys quench their thirst. The birds of the air nest by the waters; they sing among the branches. He waters the mountains from his upper chambers; the earth is satisfied by the fruit of his work. He makes grass grow for the cattle, and plants for man to cultivate - bringing forth food from the earth: wine that gladdens the heart of man, oil to make his face shine, and bread that sustains his heart. The trees of the Lord are well watered, the cedars of Lebanon that he planted. There the birds make their nests; the stork has its home in the pine trees. The high mountains belong to the wild goats; the crags are a refuge for the coneys. The moon marks off the seasons, and the sun knows when to go down. You bring darkness, it becomes night, and all the beasts of the forest prowl. The lions roar for their prey and seek their food from God. The sun rises, and they steal away; they return and lie down in their dens. Then man goes out to his work, to his labor until evening. How many are your works, O Lord! In wisdom you made them all; the earth is full of your creatures. There is the sea, vast and spacious, teeming with creatures beyond number - living things both large and small. There the ships go to and fro, and the leviathan, which you formed to frolic there. These all look to you to give them their food at the proper time. When you give it to them, they gather it up; when you open your hand, they are satisfied with good things. When you hide your face, they are terrified; when you take away their breath, they die and return to the dust. When you send your Spirit, they are created, and you renew the face of the earth. May the glory of the Lord endure forever; may the Lord rejoice in his works - he who looks at the earth, and it trembles, who touches the mountains, and they smoke. I will sing to the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live. May my meditation be pleasing to him, as I rejoice in the Lord. But may sinners vanish from the earth and the wicked be no more. Praise the Lord, O my soul. Praise the Lord."

To RSVP or not to RSVP that is the question

I've been pondering just exactly how to blog about RSVPing. I know I want to blog about it, but I don't want to offend the masses (as if 'the masses' are reading this). Since I'm not sure how to blog about proper RSVPing with out sounding like a whiny, snivelling creature I guess I'll take a few minutes to talk about something deeper. Did you know that the finger licker at my local Starbuck's got fired? Even though the remaining employees assured me that it wasn't because I officially complained about him (three times), I can't help but feel badly that he got canned. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad he's gone. I mean, a person can only handle so much mucus on their money. However, it appears there were bigger issues than my problem with his phlegm. I must admit: it is incredibly refreshing to pull up in the parking lot, park my car, go inside and order my drink. Sounds normal, right? Well, when the finger-licker was still employed I would need to pull my car up and stake the place out to see if he was at the counter. If he was, I politely backed my way out and went on my way - Starbuck's-less. (yes, it was difficult, but not as difficult as trying to put my licked money in my wallet without touching the licked part). ...as for RSVP'ing here are the rules in a nutshell:

• If you are attending - say 'yes'
• If you aren't attending - say 'no'
• If you say 'yes' show up

...now that isn't so hard, is it?

Twitter Nation

I just don't get it. Every time I hear a new story involving twittering, tweeting, twoting, twirping and the like I shake my head in baffled confusion. I wish someone would explain to me why they follow people, and also why they want people to follow them. What purpose does it serve to send a message to followers that says, "I'm at Target"? Likewise, why would you want to know the daily happenings of someone else? SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME! I enjoy reading about the lives of celebrities in People magazine, which I purchase every week, but even *I* can't bring myself to a place where I want or need to know their daily, minute-by-minute meanderings. The reason this is on the forefront of my mind right now is because I read on the internet last night the story of Conan O'Brien and the one person he decided to 'follow'. Sarah Killen had three followers BC (before Conan) and now has over 20,000. Whaaaaaaaat? Huh? Are people now following Sarah because Conan might tweet? If that's the case, and Conan does tweet Sarah, does that make the rest of the thousands feel like he is talking to them as well? Is that why they are following someone named Sarah that they don't even know? SOMEONE EXPLAIN THIS TO ME. Please, I'm begging here.

Loss

The other day I was sitting with a friend and thinking about all of the loss that I will likely experience this year. John is joining the Army, Mariah is going to college, even our dog is probably not going to make it until his 13th birthday in August....and that is just the tip of my Loss Iceburg. The physical loss of the daily presence of these loved ones in my life is going to be profound. The thing I wonder is this: How do people make it in this world without the Lord? I already know, before any of these losses occur, that the only way I am going to make it through is because of my faith. I know, beyond any doubt, that John is doing what God has put on his heart and led him to do. I also know that Mariah is seeking God's will in graduating early and in the decision on where she will go to school. If I didn't truly believe that the God of this universe is in charge of my life, and the life of my loved ones, I'd most likely be falling apart.

Some mock Jesus as being a crutch. All I know is that I need Him. I lean on Him. I am broken and useless without Him. Everyone needs a crutch like that.

I am eternally grateful to my mom, who took me to church as a young girl even on the Sundays that I didn't want to go. I am thankful for the memory I have of her sitting in her rocking chair reading her Bible, and for the steadfast faith she demonstrated through the difficult times in her life. I know the Lord put the "faith to believe" in me, but she was my earthly example of how to walk that faith with peace and confidence. I miss her so and rejoice in the knowledge that we will some day be reunited.

I am blessed to have close friends and family come along beside me and help me on this journey. Thank you. Thank you for being an ear to listen and a shoulder to cry on. ...and thank you for laughing with me when you know I need that as well.

I am richly blessed.